Talking about family…

Can you guess which one is me, which one a Nigerian?

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- Do you want kids?
- Well .. I haven’t really been thinking about it .. I don’t know…
- What!! If you marry an African man, he will tell you how many kids to have.
- Well, isn’t it the woman who usually takes care of the kids here? So shouldn’t she have a word there, too?
- Well, the wife will take care of the kids, but it’s the husband who is taking care of her. So he gets to decide.

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- My father has three wives.
- Really? What is it like?
- I hate it. I will have only one.
- Why do you hate it?
- Having so many wives just creates jealousy. Everyone wants best just for their children, so you have to compete about everything. It’s not good for the family.

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- What do you want to do in life?
- Well, there are many things that I love doing, so I couldn’t name just one. And I don’t think there’s just one thing for me. What about you?
- First of all, I want to be a good mother, and a good wife. Secondly, I want to [--]

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- How many siblings do you have?
- Seven. How many do you?
- Just one.
- Really? Just one?
- In my country, the average is like one and half per family. How many do you think you’ll want to have?
- For me, three would do.

Hat-tricks

One of my favourite things of the Nigerian culture is how the Nigerians cover their head.

The first Nigerian hat fashion icon I spotted is the current president Goodluck Jonathan. He always appears with his handsome black or dark brown hat.

(image linked to source)

Most hat styles I see in the streets of Abuja among the Nigerian men belong to just two categories. Either it’s the above featured stylish hat with a brim, or an exotic colourful kufi, the one without. Both of them are captured in the picture below. The Nigerian Ambassador to the Nordic countries, on the left, looks so charming!

Nigerian, Finnish, Nigerian

Despite lacking the brim, the rarer Aso Oke hat is my absolute favourite. It so cute it just disarms you!  And see again how good-looking is the Nigerian Ambassador’s hat!

in a business meeting!

Women don’t really wear hats, but a piece of cloth wrapped around their heads, made of a fabric matching their top and skirt.

Stylish Nigerian Lady and a Finnish counterpart

The headgear tells also of a social status. Spot a princess from the picture below!

About equality

After saying goodbye to my sister and father in Cape Town, the young people working at my hotel invited me out. And so the last night of the trip, partying with the locals in two bars/clubs, revealed me another South Africa, hidden from the tourist eyes. In the early morning hours I listened to the bright young hotel manager sharing his dream of studying in a university, and heard the mixture of anger and disappointment in his voice for knowing that he would most likely never have enough money to realize his dream. Having spent the evening feeling like equals, and suddently realizing how different opportunities we were given and how immensely priviledged I am, made me feel awfully sorry. On the other side of the table, the pappa betalar style white guy dressed in brand clothes listened to the story, replied with a shrug and changed the subject for skateboarding.

One of the core values in my Finnish upbringing has been equality. It definitely conflicts with many of my experiences from this spring; from the British aristocrat demanding his seat at the front of the car from the black guy, to the submissive behaviour of the Nigerian servants towards the richer, and the snobbish behaviour of the Nigerian elite. I can’t deny the fact that a lot of the people think that it is perfectly natural that some people are a lot more worthy than others, and sometimes, I even have to play my part. But still, I am most proud of our Finnish mentality, and believe that it is a great contributor to the success of our country.